Wednesday One-Liners Get Too Big for Their Britches

20-ish chick on cell: But how can I be getting old? I just gave someone an over-the-pants handjob at a bar last night!

--Morningside Heights

Overheard by: Ladle

Bimbette on cell: ... So I got downstairs and realized I wasn't wearing pants!

--Barnard College

Overheard by: yeah happens all the time

Old lady to teen boy: ... And so you wear girl pants?!

--10th & 5th

Overheard by: Steph

20-ish chick to dad: I don't have Alzheimer's -- I just wear the pants.

--Schubert Alley

Overheard by: Kerry

Loud high school girl: She stood at the subway and was like, 'Could I have two dollars for a metro card?' And that's how she bought a new pair of pants. She told [our teacher] that's how she bought a new pair of pants, but I'm pretty sure it was for bud. She said it was for pants... But it was for bud.

--Manhattan-bound R train

Overheard by: Maggie

Well-dressed old lady: He wants to go somewhere, too -- into your pants! Okay, that was childish.

--Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle