Queer to another: It’s okay to pee on people. Either you do it or you don’t, and I’ve done it a lot.

–L train

Stumbling drunk girl to friends: All I was thinking was, ‘Oh, God, I hope he doesn’t pee on me!’

–Mott & Bayard St

Chick: I wish I could pee standing up. If I could pee standing up, I would pee out this window. Did you ever wonder where this door goes? It’s like the door to a secret land or something!

–Education building, NYU

Middle-aged guy: I used to pee on the floor just to get attention!

–Lincoln Center

Girl: Can you hold this while I… release my urine?

–The Met