Mangy, Flea-Bitten Wednesday One-Liners

Lady on cell: So, I don't know if I should get a coffee table or a dog...

--Stanton & Essex

Woman, about her dog: No, no one ever asks me if he's ugly. I think he's the most beautiful dog in the world. In fact, he looks exactly like Humphrey Bogart!

--25th & 7th

Asian chick on cell: ... Haha, yeah... Well, I hope so! I mean, I had to sell my dog for it...

--107th & Broadway

Overheard by: Xiao Hoah Dze

Hipster girl to another: We should mate your dog with my cat.

--Hanover Square & Water St

Guy in puffy coat to NYU student: Hey, you -- you wanna buy a puppy? [Opens coat revealing puppy.] It's cheap.

--Union Square

Overheard by: The Meganator