Old man on cell: Oh, God, I was drunk out of my mind. I was drunk, drunk, drunk… Yeah, I was so drunk I don’t even remember being arrested. I woke up and I was like, ‘Where the fuck am I?’

–Washington Square Park

Buff black guy to small black guy: Maybe you should go to jail to get your weight up.

–153rd & Edgecombe

Overheard by: DaHustler

Guy on bench to friend: There is no way you’re not going to jail tonight.

–Outside Whole Foods

Overheard by: Big Apple repeat offender – just visiting

Tough guy on cell: Man, what are you worried about? So what if they brought you in? It’s not assault if you didn’t use a weapon, right?

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Chicagoan in NY for first time

Guy on cell: That would have been worse! Then I would have been resisting arrest at a black tie event!

–35th St, between 8th & 9th Ave

Overheard by: Jason