Crazy man: Now, you probably don’t know this, but most of y’all have diabetes.

–1 train

Overheard by: bildita

Tall, skinny suit to lady suit: … What’s your sick policy? I was like, ‘Stay the fuck away from me, and don’t get me sick — that’s our sick policy!’

–13th & University

Overheard by: Dave D

Chick: I’da killed him if it wasn’t for that damn leukemia.

–9th & Smith St station

Dude: Can you get carpel tunnel of the butt?

–17th & 6th

Girl on cell: I’m like a virus. I never go away. I go away for a little bit, and you think you’re clear, and then I come back and take over your body.

–33rd & 30th, Astoria

Overheard by: brigid