Conductor, on loudspeaker: Please note, you heard it here first: I’m watching the Super Bowl only for the commercials. The Giants are going to be so far ahead of… the other team… it’ll be a boring game. We gonna whoop them by at least 15, 20 points. But the commercials are going to be great!

–A train

Overheard by: love this conductor!

Blind hobo to no one: You know why black basketball players are better than white ones? Because Jesus was black, so they’re like Jesus!

–1 train

Black teen girl, to three teen boys: Super Bowl! Super bowl?! What the hell does that mean, ‘a Super Bowl’? Didn’t you ever think about how stupid that is?!

–F train, 4th Ave

Overheard by: Theresa

Eight-year-old boy: You can’t have a Cowboys game without the cheerleaders. There go half the male ticket holders.

–Prospect Park, Brooklyn

Guy who is clearly not Eli Manning: What do I do? My name is Eli Manning, and I play for the New York Giants.

–Upper West Side

Guy randomly wipes out on the sidewalk, flat on his stomach with arms stretched out in front of him. Everyone stares.

Nearby cop: Safe!

–Outside Penn Station

Overheard by: Bananaphone