Hipster guy: If he would have asked me that in an interview, I would have pulled down my pants and shat on his foot. –N 5th & Bedford Ave, Williamsburg Tall, distraught man: Great! Now I have to hold off poopin’ for another two hours. –Penn Station Sleep-deprived student to friend: There is something wrong with your bowel movements! –Pratt Institute Overheard by: Bailey Booming voice from dark alley: Well, I’ll be dipped in shit! –2nd Ave, LES Overheard by: caroline Man on cell: Don’t go near the elevator. There’s a pile of doo-doo there. I tried to clean it up the best I could, but there’s still some there. Be careful. I don’t want you to smear it. –Essex St NYU student to friend: Of course I didn’t poop in the shower… I pooped in the toilet, then put it in the shower! –8th & Mercer Overheard by: Alex