Tourist: This is New York. Nothing happens fast here. –Times Square Overheard by: Get out of my way – I’m in a hurry Empowered shopper: I have a cart. I can go as slow as I want. –Chelsea Whole Foods Overheard by: and she did Girl to friend, after introducing her boyfriend: It’s not that he’s slow. He just hesitates before answering because he’s thinking of movie quotes and stuff. –515 Bar, 34th Street & 3rd Ave Mom of fast-walking baby: YO YO! Slow your roll. –Grand St, Brooklyn Overheard by: Alicia Van Couvering Woman, while swiping metrocard: Gotta do it fast, just like a handjob. –79th St Subway Station Loud beeatch: Dammit, why you movin’ so slow? Don’t you know what city you’re in? Shit! –42nd St & Madison Overheard by: Jen Conductor on PA: Attention, passengers. We have red signals ahead of us. Still working out the kinks. The good news is, once we get past Bergen, we’ll be back up to our normal speed. [pauses] which still isn’t too fast. –F train Overheard by: He ain’t kiddin’