If Only Israelis and Palestinians Had a Common Football Team to Get Behind

Conductor over loudspeaker: Our next stop will be New York Penn Station, please make sure you have all your personal belongings when leaving this train... And for all you football fans out there, Giants just fucking won! Everyone can put their feet on the seats, we're celebratin' tonight!
Passengers: Yeah!

--NJ Transit

Overheard by: Vicksburg