Drunk, angry Puerto Rican girl to boyfriend: You had to make me smell like fuckin’ Chinese food on new year’s eve! –Grand St & Graham Ave, Brooklyn Overheard by: someone who happily had a different New Year’s date, and wonders whether there is a Designer Imposters version of such a scent. Disgusted McDonald’s patron: This shit smells worse than a hobo’s taint! –14 & Broadway Overheard by: Shemp Man, entering subway car: Son, it smells like home depot in here. –4 Train Drunk sorostitute on cell: It smelled fine. It was just a febreeze gone awry! –Columbia University Overheard by: Ladle Queer: I can’t wait to move out of this decrepit office building. A couple of days ago a mouse died in the walls -you remember what that smells like. The guys in the office said: "Maybe it’ll go away after a week," but I told them it’s just going to get worse, so now they want to bring in some awful air freshener thing. Someone is already spraying that stuff in the men’s room, and it’s got a nasty artificial orange scent, so it smells like someone shat on a fruit basket. –28th & Park Overheard by: Rose Fox Girl with a huge ugly weave: I smell fried chicken! [Pauses.] … Oh, it’s prolly me. [Keeps walking.] –Library, Washington Irving High School