That's When I Realized He Was a Robot

Young hipster professional: ...I mean, you've seen the signs, right? "If you see something, say something"? ...So I ran to the conductor's car at the next stop and said, "Hey, there's a really suspicious guy in the second car, he's acting strange".
Girlfriend: Oh my god! What did he say?
Young hipster professional: He said, "Stand clear of the closing doors."

--6 Train