[Plane lands, bounces 20 feet into the air, finally slams back to earth, knocking all the oxygen masks out.]
Flight Attendant: Thank you for choosing American Airlines, ladies and gentlemen, obviously we have have landed… –LaGuardia Airport Overheard by: M. Smith/Terrified Passenger Flight Attendant: Chicken or beef? Chicken or beef? … Don’t think about it too long honey, they taste like cardboard. –United Flight Flight Attendant: We have two lavatories in the back of the plane and one in the front. Please use them. –LaGuardia Airport Pilot: Remember, there are 50 ways to leave your lover, but only 8 ways out of this aircraft. –JFK Runway Overheard by: cms Pilot, after an unusually smooth landing: God damn, that landin’ was butta! –Jet Blue JFK