Five-year-old girl in the men’s bathroom: Hey everybody! Look! I have fat poopies! –New Dance Group, West 38th St Random chick: She’s gonna be all over me for shitting today. –Outside Butler Library, Columbia University Overheard by: McFreaky Girl: I so should have taken a dump in that toilet! –14th & 4th High school boy: I literally walked in the bathroom and saw like, someone took a dump on the floor; and it was more than one person! And I was just like, wow, is this a new trend or something? –Fresh Meadows, Queens Overheard by: Caro-kun 18-year-old CPR/AED instructor on using a defibrillator: …if you’re touching the person when you administer the shock, it won’t kill you, but you might poo a little. –50th & Broadway Overheard by: Fred Daubert Chick: Welp, I am ready to have diarrhea now! –2nd Ave & 11th