Wednesday One-Liners Take a Stab at It

Girl on cell: Yeah, so he was kicked out of college. It's kind of a long story. He like, pulled a knife on George Lucas.

--Barnard College

Curly-haired chick: If we go, like, cowboy/Indian, you're supposed to be giving me smallpox blankets and liquor, and I'm supposed to hold a knife to your scalp. Hmmm.

--Columbia University

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Girl (yelling at other girl): Just because he cuts himself doesn't mean he's emo!

--Brooklyn Tech HS

16-year-old to another: If Dane Cook was here, he would stab you in the chest.

--The Beacon School

Gay man to female friend: I'm gonna cut out your G-spot with a butter knife and stick it to the wall.

--Dojo Resaurant

Tall, muscular, handsome guy on cell: My night turned out pretty crazy... Why? Because this chick drew a knife on me in the restaurant before we even finished the appetizers... And I blame you for that.

--Grand Army Plaza

Overheard by: wishes she would have been there...