20-something girl: I don't let people with toes like that into my bed!

–Bleecker & Broadway

Overheard by: insizlane

Old man on cell: Just tell her to go to Duane Reade and get that shit that puts your urethra to sleep.

–East Village

Overheard by: doctors are so jaded

Woman: My son has a perfect head, it's not flat on no sides.

–44 Bus, Staten Island

(man comes over and pushes down everyone's safety bar)
Woman: My uterus just came out of my vagina.

–Coney Island Cyclone

Guy on cell: …and it's just not Sunday unless you've had your finger in someone.

–Houston & Macdougal

Overheard by: Lish