A Gaggle Of Wednesday One-Liners

Guy on cell: I mean, it was bigger than a horse. But it had four humps.

--14th & 2nd

Overheard by: LIZ

Drunk man: A plastic sheep or a real sheep... When it comes down to it... is there really any difference?

--Biddy Early's Pub

Chick on cell: It's better than riding a golden yak!

--Morningside Heights

Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred

Man to friend: Did I mean "wombats"? Of course I meant fucking wombats!

--3 Train

Blonde: What is a mongoose and where can I get one?

--Times Square

Guy on cell (fumbling with a pack of Marlboros): Well, for one, it's been ten days since the baby snakes have eaten.

--92nd St & Broadway

Overheard by: The Mad Man

Middle-aged white guy: ...so we told the children they couldn't go to the petting zoo, to see how they would react. (pause) It was interesting on a psychological level.

--Outside of Butler Library, Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle