Man's Best Wednesday One-Liners

Man: So I was making out with my ex girlfriend on the bridge and out of nowhere this dog runs over and starts humping my leg...

--Uptown 1 Train

Dude outside bar: All dogs are gay.

--7th Avenue, Park Slope

Overheard by: The Katie

Black man arguing with kiosk man: Yo, he ain't my son, he's my dog!

--6th Street

Middle-aged woman walking her dog to passersby: I'm a dog! I don't know why none of you believe me! I talk to my dog. Humans don't talk to animals, animals talk to animals! I'm not human! And until you people realize that, you're going to keep having problems with me!

--9th St & University Place

Overheard by: Katie

Drunk guy to girls walking puppy: Hey giiirl. Watch yo dawg. Giiirl! Watch yo dog... Cuz I might bite!

--Staten Island Boardwalk

Overheard by: Izzy

(teacher's cell rings)
Teacher: I have a feeling I have to answer this. It's very important. It's about my puppy.

--Stuyvesant High School

Overheard by: student