Conductor on train: Ladies and gentlemen, if you see the person who is annoyingly pressing the buzzer please direct him to a conductor so they can be arrested and we can all go home. –Metro North Train Overheard by: Allison Hobo: Now you're going to give me a quarter sir, and then I'm going to arrest you. –Union Square Overheard by: Eric Guy on cell: Mike is getting his crazy ass released? For real? (pause) He's paying taxes?! Thug! –M Train Teenybopper: I'm going to jail tonight, I don't care. I'm gonna fuckin' kill that bitch! –30th b/w 2nd & 3rd Overheard by: eavesdropper Prospective employee to another: I can't believe she tells me how to fill out the fingerprint card! I've been done hauled to the precinct so many times… –Elevator, Midtown Building Ghetto mama: Why somebody call me from prison gotta be my husband? Hell no, that nigga is past tense! –54 Bus