To Be Fair, Skinny Jeans Are Much More Constrictive

Conductor #1: He's like "it doesn't bite!" I'm like "I know it doesn't bike...it constricts! The last thing I need is that thing getting loose and finding some four-year-old kid wrapped in a snake. You can get on, but Daisy stays on the platform.
Conductor #2: Who brings a snake out in public anyway?

--LIRR, Woodside station

Overheard by: I'm with the conductor on this one...