Girl yelling at guy wearing ridiculously oversized shorts: Eat my shit out the toilet! Stew my shit and eat it! –109th & Manhattan Random girl: The only thing is, you have to flush your own toilet paper. –Brooklyn Botanic Garden Overheard by: the old fashioned way Teenager: So then I pooped my pants, and my belt buckle exploded! –Fulton Street Overheard by: The Lane Train 10-year-old boy walking with his mom and sister: I'm a good guy. I don't pee on the floor. Or doo doo. –Broadway, Astoria Teen on cell: Alright, I'm gonna go home. I gotta clean up some poop. –49th & 3rd Girl: He called me last night and said he wanted to see me! When the maid knocked on the door I thought it was him and I thought, "I think I have to poop!" –Milford Hotel Lobby