Or Paid a Hobo to Do It

Drunk and disorderly woman: Joshua! What the fuck?! (gives him a clumsy punch) Oh my god! This shit's not gonna come off!
Sober male companion: I don't know what you're flipping out about. You would've just licked it off your arm anyway.

--Ave U & W 7th St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Kris S.