An Amuse-Bouche Douche

Drunk middle aged lady: Aww, love is great...you and your boyfriend are such a cute couple.
Chick: Oh, that guy? He's not my boyfriend. I'm just sleeping with him.
Drunk middle aged lady (laughing): Really? Good for you, he's cute. Well, maybe it'll turn into something more?
Chick: Oh, god no! He's an asshole...but he's amazing in bed and he's fun company... He's like a vibrator that makes appetizers.

--White Horse Tavern

Overheard by: the birthday girl