Large man on payphone: I'm gonna kill her, man! I'm gonna fuckin' kill her! Then I'm gonna kill my cousin! I'm gonna go back to my house, kill that bitch, get my fuckin kittens, and kill my cousin! I want my kittens, man! –SoHo Overheard by: trying not to laugh Father to kids: Which would you prefer, kitty casserole or puppy stew? –72nd & Broadway Suit: So one time I went into the bathroom and the cat was just like sitting on the toilet so I just unloaded on it. I told my roommate, like, "don't touch the cat" and then later I saw his girlfriend playing with it and hugging and kissing it. It was very funny. –Downtown 6 Train Upset-looking college student on cell: Ugh! My cat almost just died…and you're making this about your feelings?! –Columbia Quad Student: That's okay, I'll just eat my mom and fuck my cat. –Pratt Institute Overheard by: Toddlington Student: Well, the situation in the essay is hopeless, you know? It's like finding a kitten in the subway and you want to take it with you because kittens just don't belong in the subway. But then you remember that you live in a building that doesn't allow pets and your roommate is allergic. So, your roommate is going to hate you and your landlord is going to evict you. I realize this is a bad example. I just really want a kitten. –Eugene Lang College Overheard by: Colleen