Law professor: Sometimes you just want to tell your client, "Wake the fuck up!" –NYU Law School Law student on cell: Well, it's hard to locate them, since I don't know who they are. –Columbia Law School Overheard by: arctinus Older looking woman on cell: No, don't fight him, Henry. We're Jewish. God gave us lawyers for a reason. –42nd & Avenue of the Americas Overheard by: Elizabeth Awesome judge: If you do not have a basic understanding of the English language, you will not be able to serve. If you cannot understand what I'm saying, please come up now. Now, two translators will translate what I just said. If you understood what I said, obviously don't come up here. –Supreme Court Building Suit to girl: You must be a lawyer. (pause) Or a cunt. –Bryant Park Overheard by: How did he know? Thug: Don't say anything to her! Don't you know anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law? –132nd & St. Nicholas Drunk lawyer on phone: Yeah! I convict rape victims. –Outside Shea Stadium