A Big Package of Wednesday One-Liners

Older woman, enunciating precisely: I could never understand wanting to have a penis. I know *I* never wanted one.

--Hudson St

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Chick: Don't you feel better knowing your cock is better than fermented squid guts?

--Park Slope

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Guy to friend: And then it just popped out of the bag--you know, kind of like a penis pops out!

--Dunkin Donuts

Blond: But baby, the only thing that rhymes with penis is "mm mm good"!

--Restaurant, Brooklyn

Overheard by: what rhymes with vajay?

Little boy: (gibberish gibberish gibberish) Penis! (gibberish gibberish gibberish) Penis!

--Downtown N Train

Brunette NYU student: You know when like people in junior high ask you what you'd do if you had a penis for a day? I'd always say "piss in a soap dispenser."

--W 3rd b/w 6th & MacDougal

Overheard by: Alan