Security guard to another: I know it's habitual to act retarded. –Time Warner Security Check Overheard by: spandangle Security guard: The door's that way, people. I know that when you see a door you want to go through it–it's human nature. –Crown Plaza Hotel, Times Square Overheard by: GJL Female security guard: What does my sexual genitalia have to do with it? –Brooklyn Library Little boy: Mommy, mommy, look! They've got security guards! Must be a rich people place. –86th & Brooklyn Security guard, after metal detector beeps: Ma'am, would you please remove your wooden bracelet and walk back through the metal detector again? –Liberty Island Overheard by: heather linford Crazy security guard: I have so much gas. I'm going to take all my gas and send it to Iraq and end the war. (gets distracted by a girl walking past with an ice cream cone) Hey, you're stomach's gonna freeze! –NYU Dorm Overheard by: Honest Truth