And in the Closet

Drunk hipster guy #1 (screaming): Let's see who can make out with the fattest girl tonight. Whoever makes out with the fattest gets ten dollars from everyone else.
Drunk hipster guy #2 (also screaming): Yeah, and if there's a close call, she can judge.
Drunk hipster girl: Hey, I want in on this action! That could be 50 bucks.
Guy #1: Okay, okay, you can play too. But if it comes down to a close call between us guys you have to decide which girl is fatter.
Drunk hipster guy #3: And she can have a good personality.
Drunk hipster guy #4: Why are we screaming?
Drunk hipster guy #1: Because we're Italian.

--LIRR

Overheard by: revolted