Agitated man: God gave you a penis and a road map to the world! You don't need maps! –Washington Square & University Place Tween: God wants me to get drunk tonight! –3rd & Mercer Four-year-old child to mother: Mommy! We have to go to church on Sunday. God is going to repent us on Sunday! –R Train Overheard by: Marie Hobo: And then I fucked god! –Heckscher Playground, Central Park Overheard by: Shiki Jewish girl to friend: Oy! My bagel looks like god jerked off on it. –Guy & Gallards, 34th & Lexington Overheard by: Awkwardly eating his breakfast Drunk girl to drunk friend crying on her coat: It's always so hard when you lose your soulmate in the bathroom line, but it's like, god works in mysterious ways, you know. –W Train Overheard by: Wes