In the Ladies' Room, There's a Harpsichordist and a Magical Angel Who Washes Your Hands for You.

(in crowded bathroom)
Bathroom attendant: Okay fellas, hurry it up, stop talking, just piss, give me a dollar, wash your hands and get out.
Random alchi: What? Hell no, I ain't tipping you.
Bathroom attendant: Then lick your fingers!

--72nd & Columbus