Puzzled student: Professor, according to the syllabus we have a paper due in a week... What's it on?
Equally puzzled philosophy professor: You have a paper due in a week? I was afraid of that!
Puzzled student: Also, according to the syllabus, we don't even have class today. There's...nothing written there.
Equally puzzled philosophy professor: Really? Huh. Well, I must have been drunk when I did that.
--Fordham University