Conductor: This is the last train. You have no other options, this is it. Get on this train. –Metro North Rail Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, please keep your feet off the seats on this train. They belong on the floor; that's why it's there. If you can't put your feet on the floor because your luggage is there, don't worry: we took care of that too. Look up. That thing above your head is a luggage rack. –NJ Transit, Penn Station Announcement on NJ transit train: If you have young children, please take them…by the hand when leaving the train. –Penn Station Overheard by: JerseyJR Train conductor: This is 18th Street, if this is your stop…get up! Give up that seat! –1 Train Overheard by: Chris K… at 11pm Amtrak conductor: We are experiencing engine problems and need to change trains. But I want you to know that we have lost no altitude. –Amtrak Train Conductor, philosophical about delayed train: We don't usually have this type of delay at this time of day. But, well, here we are… (train starts to move) Aha! Here it is! –A Train Overheard by: Katie J Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, do you know where you are? (passengers are silent) I do! Hudson, next stop. –Amtrak Train, Leaving Penn Station