The Make-a-Wednesday-One-Liner Foundation

Lady on phone: Well, I wish I could get the fat removed from my back but we can't all get what we want, can we?

--Target

10-year-old child with mother and younger siblings: I wish I could get a diaper...

--K-Mart, Astor Place

Random smoking kid: I really wish I could smoke out of my ass.

--Lincoln Center

Girl crossing the street: I really wish something would hit me...I need some money.

--Times Square

Overheard by: 3 day tourist

Girl, after receiving gift: This is...this is so great! I'm so happy! Oh, man! I...I wish you had a little penis so I could give it a rub right now!

--Barnes & Noble, Park Slope