Female black security guard to male black security guard: So you got two kids that you know of… –MoMa Security agent: You are now entering the metal detector area, so those of you with wooden cell phones should feel free to keep those in your pockets. –JFK Overheard by: Jason Security guard to teens blocking entrance: Hmm, just what I need at 9 am, a motherfucking school group. –Paley's Museum of Radio and Television Overheard by: scarface Security guard on cell: Why isn't your hand on your butt? –Duane Reade Overheard by: Lord Almighty Library security guard: Welcome to the library, where your wildest dreams come true. –St. John's University