Yankees fan to Mets friends: When we go to the Yankees stadium I'll be like a retard at a Chuck E. Cheese. –Shea Stadium Overheard by: Danial Police officer in van, on loudspeaker: Move to the right! (people in cars ignore the order) Retards! You heard me! Move to the right! –27th St & 10th Ave Crazy guy, ranting: You can't have sex with people who aren't retarded because they charge too damn much! –V Train Overheard by: Ryan P. Guy to girl: I never said that I wasn't retarded. Technically, I'm not a hypocrite. –L Train Overheard by: Julia Heavily made-up girl: Do you think retarded people are, like, conceptually aware that they're retarded? –6 Train Overheard by: You tell me Girl: The idea of a retarded Jack Russell Terrier is completely foreign to me, because as I recall, Wishbone was exceptionally well-read. –Columbia University