A Shitload Of Wednesday One-Liners

Eight-year-old Russian boy, in Martin Luther King voice: I had a dream, that one day...I pooped. (giggles)

--Q Ttrain

Overheard by: Robert G.

Drunk bro on phone: I know I'm not the guy you fuck in the shower, but can I shit on your chest?

--Fordham University

Woman on cell: There's no law against defecation.

--3rd Ave & 10th St

Overheard by: SophieMed

Man whispering into cell: I'm going to have to take a number two while we're talking.

--Sunshine Suites

Young man on cell: We're in the ticket line. Are you still pooping?

--Castle Clinton

Overheard by: B Fraz

20-something guy to friends: When I poop on something, I want someone to notice!

--Bushwick, Brooklyn

Overheard by: I prefer to flush