Professional-sounding female on cell in bathroom stall: What? (sounds of toilet paper roll) In the bathroom? No! (indignantly) I…I'm…near the bathroom! –Women's Bathroom, FAO Schwartz Overheard by: near the computer Girl to friend in bathroom stall: That crack in the door is big enough for me to see the crack of 'yo ass. –Women's Bathroom, Hunter College Man exiting bathroom stall to waiting man: No, no, no. Feces. –Grand Central Station Overheard by: matt Black loud cleaning lady to Asian woman: Excuse me, miss? Why you gotta be leaving the seat up? You always leave the seat up! Putting the seat up is okay, but if you put it up, put it down! –Ladies Room, LIRR Overheard by: BK Guy on cell in toilet stall: Now I am unbuckling my belt. (pause) Now I am unzipping my pants. (pause) Now I am pulling down my pants. (pause) Now I am pulling down my underwear. (pause) Now I am sitting down. –Men's Room, Billy Elliott Old guy peeing in a urinal, with childlike delight and glee: Wheeeee! Wheeeeeeeeee! Wooooooooooooo! Wheeeeeeeee! –Men's Room, McDonald's