People for the Ethical Treatment Of Wednesday One-Liners

Girl to guy: I don't think that hamsters respond to you as much as, like, a guinea pig does.

--Bank St. & Greenwich St.

Overheard by: Katie Compa

Crazy redneck-looking guy to PETA circus protester: They're gonna do to us what they did to the lions! We'll be put in concentration camps!

--Madison Square Garden

Overheard by: Santiago and Catie

Guy: And she can ride him like a horse!

--W 103rd St

Graying Brooklyn guy to another: You know, the only thing I haven't seen is a bobcat.

--7th Ave & 4th St, Brooklyn

Underclassman to another: Lizards can't impregnate anyone. They don't even have penises.

--Townsend Harris High School

Overheard by: amused

Drunk man in tiger costume to McDonald's worker: There's an escaped zoo animal and he wants to eat your pussy. Stop serving your food and hide! (then steals bowl of jams used for breakfast menu)

--McDonald's