Girl #1: I have a dirty, pathetic crush on Octavian. But really only when he's Octavian. Caesar Augustus, not as much.
Girl #2: I can definitely see that. He was pretty cute. And he was the emperor.
Girl #1: If I'd been around, I would have knifed that Livia bitch and totally tapped that ass. (pause) That imperial ass. –Columbia University Overheard by: I'll be your emperor