Sick cop to another: The way I see it, you've got seven holes in your head. If you don't wanna get sick, you just gotta keep your fingers out of those seven holes. Then you'll be good. –ER, Saint Vincent Hospital Overheard by: Dustin Old-school pimp on cell: I'm sick. (pause) Naw, baby, I just want you to bring me some money and chicken soup. –96th & Columbus Ave Woman on phone: Yeah, I'm doing really well. I just have some cancerous issues. But other than that, I'm great! –East Village Overheard by: Erin Woman to friend: So I was worried I had a urinary tract infection or something, even though it didn't hurt when I was peeing. But it turns out it was just a pube stuck in my clit. –R Train Overheard by: what the hell? Guy to friend: So, I finally got athlete's foot. –116th & Broadway Chick to guy friend: Well, if you hadn't spent the entire morning cursing out yo momma, then you wouldn't had gotten swine flu! –Edward R. Murrow High School, Brooklyn Overheard by: Amused Freshman Hippie girl on cell: Hey, mom! How are you? (pause) Not so good, actually, my bloodwork just came back and I have Lyme disease! (pause) I know…it's like 70 degrees here! –42nd & Park Ave Overheard by: AwkwardTwig