Snooty female 30-something to friend: Pap-smears are, to me, the new fake eyelashes. –Upper East Side Overheard by: ianbobian Aggressive New Yorker: So he pulls out his fucking fake-ass parking pass, and I pull out my gun. And I'm like "you still wanna park here, asshole? Go ahead!" –60th St & Broadway Screaming drunk girl to slightly sober guy: If you're going to be fake to me, at least be fake to my face! –LIRR Overheard by: Really!?!? Girl on cell: Okay, call me when you're done entertaining the fake Jews. –Cafe, Church & Walker Loud woman: No, it was a fake. I'd have to like, sleep with him to get the real one, you know? –Hester & Mott Overheard by: Jensel