Every Night, I Pray for More Wednesday One-Liners

Disgruntled MTA worker, to no one in particular: See? I don't like human beings all that much. I like animals, they mo' fo' real. (venomously) Y'all better be glad I'm not god.

--6 Train

30-something white guy to friends: I live in Mesopotamia, 'cause the gods are gangsta!

--W 83rd & Columbus Ave

Older MTA worker, comforting young passenger: GPS: Guidance, patience, strength. Give it over to god. Trust that motherfucker is going to handle it. Give me GPS and I can handle the rest!

--Union Square Subway Stop

Bag lady, drenched in rain: The joke's on you, god!

--9th St & University Place

20-something guy on phone: So then she tells me the reason my dad died is because god was trying to hurt me!

--Union Square

Overheard by: talker's remorse

30-something: I mean...he's a good looking guy, but then he found god.

--39th St