Girl, to herself: What if my water breaks in an elevator? (laughs) Akwaaaaard! –High School Conductor, after announcement tone: By the way, this is not an elevator. Waving your bag in the door does absolutely nothing. –6 Train Overheard by: you tell 'em Middle-aged woman, pushing "up" elevator button to another pushing "down" button: You know, I could never figure it out with elevators, do you press the button to tell the elevator to come to you, or do you press it to tell it where you want to go? –Building, Midtown Overheard by: Delish Older usher at Empire State Building: Please step out of the elevator. And as Beyonce says, to the left. To the left! –Empire State Building Lady on cell, waiting in line: Oh really? Well, I had heard someone took a crap in a Manhattan elevator! –Supermarket, The Bronx