Nor the Laws Of Time and Space

Tourist #1, looking at subway exits: North side or south side?
Tourist #2: What's the difference?
Tourist #1: Well north is north...and south is south.
(both look from one exit to the next and look at each other)
Passing New Yorker: Are you going uptown or downtown?
Tourist #1, thinking: Hmmmm....west.
New yorker: West of 8th...but uptown or downtown? West side of what street?
Tourist #1: Hmm... West side of...23rd Street?
New Yorker, walking away: You don't know what the hell you're doing.

--23rd St