Fat naked guy on cell in NYSC locker room: I'm just leaving the bank now. –New York Sports Club Girl on cell: Hello? Oh, hi mom. Yeah, yeah, it's really early here. Yeah, it's about two in the morning. Yeah, the Eiffel tower was beautiful. Yeah, right to the top. And then we had crepes, yeah. –Columbia University Guy at urinal: I'm walking toward baggage claim, where are you? –LaGuardia Airport Overheard by: Next urinal Tweenybopper on phone: Hey, Xander? We're at my house. My mom says you and Corey can't come over. Sorry! –Starbucks Overheard by: Kaitlen Grumpy old man, walking alone, on cell: I can't! I've got my grandson with me!
(pause) Bitch, why would I lie to you? (pause) Okay, love you too. –Harlem