20-something chick: Sea captains doing table-service is never okay. –A Train Overheard by: Ladle Lady on Bluetooth: Well, if you prove to everyone that your vagina is as wide as an ocean, then go ahead! –Brooklyn Teenage girl to friend: So, I heard back from the lifeguard application. (pauses, then utterly bewildered) I need to know how to swim! –Uptown 1 Train Overheard by: totheworld Loud woman on escalator: No, you don't get it. When you're under water, you're not wet. –Queens Center Mall Overheard by: Burning Vegan Middle-aged man watching seven-year old swimming deftly in shallow end: Oh, yeah? Well, I can drive. Can you? My feet can touch the bottom. Can yours? –CUNY Swim Class Overheard by: obyun