Conductor: Please stand clear of the closing doors. (pause) Please stand clear of the closing doors. (pause) Station police officer, please apprehend the man holding the doors in the 6th car. (pause, then doors close) Hahaha, that always works. –B Train Overheard by: JustMe Conductor: The door in car number two is not working, if you are looking at this door not opening I recommend moving, youuuuuuuu might want to move. –LIRR Overheard by: Brian Broker MTA engineer: Please use all exits. For the love of god, people, use all the doors to get out of the train. What the fuck, people, use the doors. Thank you. –G Train Overheard by: lolz Conductor: Please stop holding the doors. (people continue to hold doors). I'm already on the clock, I have nowhere to be. –A Train Overheard by: oliviz Disgruntled subway conductor: Listen up, y'all! This train needs to move! Do not try to hold open the doors! Do not run at closing doors! Do not stick anything in the doors! That includes arms, legs, obnoxiously expensive purses, children, animals, whatever! Let's go! –1 Train Overheard by: Sarah Conductor: Please stand clear of the doors or it will bruise yo face. –C Train Overheard by: Chris