Preppy guy to preppy friends: So then she's throwing these nerf balls at me while I'm furiously beating off on her couch… –Chinatown Girl: Masturbation's not really my thing, but I need to be more self-sufficient. –N Train Angst 20-something on cell: Ya, I miss riding my bike, it made my ass look so good… Fuck! I just want to go home, smoke some weed, and masturbate. –Central Park Overheard by: kate Guy: I hope this bus gets caught in a traffic jam! (looks down out of window) You may see people jacking off in their cars. –MegaBus, Top Deck Overheard by: EuropanGal 20-something girl on cell: Yeah, he's a big dork. Ya know what else he uses? Calculators. But that's just to masturbate. –Macdougal & 4th Overheard by: Billy H. Young women on cell: Oh. My. God! You will never guess who got married! (pause) The masturbator! –Bryant Park