Wednesday One-Liners Get Your Whiters Whiter!

Pseudo-hippie guy, waxing poetic for his entourage: Look, there are two types of people in this world: those who shower alone, and those who shower with their lovers. And some people don't shower at all. Which I guess means... look, there are three types of people in this world.

--NYU

Overheard by: Katie

Gangsta white guy on cell: Remember Matt? The brown guy? Yeah, he shit on my clothes. Yeah. I tell you, when I get home, I'm washing everything and taking a fucking nap.

--Penn Station

Overheard by: Ely Henry

Hobo: Let me get up and wash my hands! Let me get up and wash my hands! Let me get up to wash my hands! Let me get up and wash my hands! Let me get up and wash my hands! Let me get up and wash my hands!

--7th Ave & W 38th St

Lone businessman running out of a building: Go get your prostate cleaned!

--5th Ave b/w 39th & 40th St

Middle age woman, worriedly to friend: And I made him take a shower afterwards. Was that right?

--Union Square

Overheard by: Miriam