Girl on cell at register: It's like… If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it was meant to be. (pause) If it doesn't? Well then baby, fuck that nigga, cuz he was a douchebag anyway. –Deli, Brooklyn Girl: It sounds douchey. But not like "douchebag" douchey. Like "Summer's Eve" douchey. –Tribeca Man to another, on Halloween: Oh, I get it. You're a douchebag. –Park Slope Overheard by: T.J. Hipster dude, sarcastically to others: I love douchebag bars. –Outside Puck Fair Overheard by: Is this the definition of irony?