Theology professor, after struggling with projection screen: This is Satan doing this to me. –Lincoln Center, Fordham University Crazy man with bullhorn: Hanukkah is for God, Christmas is for Satan! –Fordham Plaza Conductor: This is an uptown a train making all local stops. Yes, you heard right, all local stops. The e train is out of service today, as it is on a vacation to hell. Stand clear of the closing doors, please! –A Train Overheard by: Kirstie Girl yelling to two friends across train: Jay-Z is like a devil worshipper. No, seriously, he's like a Freemason or whatever. They all are: him, Madonna, Britney… –J Train Seven-year-old tourist to mother: Are we going somewhere safe where the devil won't get me? –34th & 28th